


All These Things I've Done

by 11_Gadget_27



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Angst, Complete, M/M, Romance, Slash, Tragedy, Turians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-07
Updated: 2013-04-07
Packaged: 2017-12-07 18:03:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/751433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/11_Gadget_27/pseuds/11_Gadget_27
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lantar Sidonis had done a lot of bad things in his life, but he's never messed up this bad before. Set during Garrus' time on Omega. Written in response to a Mass Effect Kinkmeme prompt. Slash.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All These Things I've Done

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this note is a little long, forgive me. I remember seeing a prompt for Sidonis secretly pinning after Garrus during his time on Omega. Now, I know the prompt has already been filled, and multiple times at that, but I’ve got to try my hand at it.  
> The general consensus is that turians are very casual about sex and easing tension. So let’s say, for whatever reason, that Garrus notices that Sidonis is tense as all hell not long after they meet. He offers to help him out, keeping it casual on his end, but Sidonis can’t help falling for him.  
> I apologize in advance for any and all out-of-characterness, I’ve never written Garrus before. As we’ve never gotten to have much of a conversation with Sidonis, I’m not that worried about how I write his character but I’ll try to keep it good. Also, I apologize for all the tense changing, I seem to have a problem with that. So that being said, onward and upward.  
> Oh, the link to the prompt is here: masseffectkink.livejournal.com/5020.html?thread=18163100#t18163100  
> It’s currently being filled, titled “Love is a Wicked Creature” and it’s a fucking awesome read. The Anon has been helping me with my own interpretation and beat-reading as I write. So I gotta say; I love you so much!  
> Also, I’m kind of filling this prompt too: masseffectkink.livejournal.com/3083.html?thread=7060747t7060747
> 
> And rather than going through the hassle of posting chapters, I'm putting it up in one long piece. Here's to hoping for minimum mistakes.

 

+_-_-_-_-_+

All These Things I’ve Done

Part 1

Sidonis damn near jumped out of his plates when a large hand clapped down on his shoulder. He whipped around to find Garrus grinning at him, mandibles tilted outward and cobalt armor glimmering in the half-light.

“Sorry,” He intoned with a rumble. “Butler would say you’re wound up tighter than a spring. Had to break some of the tension.”

Tension. _Right._ His nerves were frayed and he was jumping at every damn shadow to cross his field of vision. It wasn’t just this station or the mercs. He’d been here since he’d left Palaven just after his seventeenth birthday, almost five years now. He’d been a merc for four of those years, so Sidonis was used to Omega by now.

Not the smell, because you could never really get used to that. But to the heavy weight of the air, the intermittent sounds of screams and gunfire. Those four long fucking years he’d been a merc how showed him the mettle of his own heart, he’d learned what he would and would not do. Sidonis hated Omega and the overall feeling of hopelessness. The _spirit_ of Omega was oppressive, cruel, depressing and all around fucking stressful. If Omega were a woman, then she was one fucking heartless vindictive bitch. He’d been alright with that. He was going to find absolution here, one way or another.

That was when, a couple of months ago, Garrus Vakarian showed up and saved him from a beat down by the Blood Pack in the middle of some shit bar. Actually, Sidonis was pretty sure it was the same shit bar they were in now. Garrus had never told him why, but he wanted to change Omega. He wanted to purge it of the evil that infested the station and its people. He showed Sidonis and subsequently the mercs that with a few well-placed bullets and clever tactics that he could make a difference. Within a few scant weeks, Archangel was born.

“Sidonis, you alright?” Garrus asked as he slid into the booth next to him.

He looked over, found Garrus inches away and leaning closer. Their shoulders were practically touching. _Fucking spirits his eyes are so blue._ Not like the C-Sec blue of his armor or the pale daylight blue of his visor or even the deep blood blue of his colony marks, but _blue_. Like an ocean or little chips of ice or-

“What are you staring at?”

Sidonis’ mouth worked before his brain did. Maybe he’d had too much to drink. “Your eyes,”

Garrus’ mandibles hung open in surprise and his subtones were disbelieving. “My eyes?”

He took a quick sip of his beer to help with the sudden dryness of his mouth. “Yeah, y’know, they’re just…um…really… nice I guess.”

Garrus was quiet for a second, just staring at him like he was trying to figure out if it was a joke or not. Then he barked a short laugh and leaned away, leaving Sidonis to notice just how warm he’d been.

“Spirits,” He chuckled again. “You are tense if you’re noticing my eyes. When was the last time you had sex Sidonis? Because I think you need it.”

“What?!” He almost spilled his drink; the question threw him so hard.

Garrus was balancing his chin in his palm and just looking at him. No, not just looking at him, but checking him out. Studying his face from his lavender colony marks to his grey eyes, over the width of his shoulders and even the slenderness of his waist. Taking his measure from top to bottom.

“Well?” He queried.

 

PART 2

Sidonis had to force himself not to fidget with the glass in his hands or bounce his foot under the table. Garrus was… _He’s a fucking walking wet dream and you know it. And he just hit on me. At least, I think he did._

“It’s been, um,”

He had to stop to think about it, wasn’t that depressing? Having to search his memory for the last time he’d fucked anyone. What was even more depressing, was realizing that he hadn’t had sex since his first year of bootcamp when he was fifteen. Fuck. He couldn’t tell Garrus that, he’d think he was a failure, that he must be so bad between the sheets that no one wanted to fuck him. Truth was…he just hadn’t been looking. And that was kind of pathetic too.

“Um, awhile I guess.” Sidonis finally answered.

Garrus nodded sagely. “Sometimes that happens. It’s actually been a while for me too.”

“Yeah?” He found that hard to believe and knew Garrus heard it in his subtones.

Garrus shrugged. “I’d been on an Alliance ship before I wound up here and C-Sec before that. No choices on a human ship unless you’re in to levo, which I’m not. C-Sec and the Citadel are full of turians but mostly male. Didn’t think that was my thing but you know how sparring usually leads to fucking with us. Had some… pretty good times with a colleague of mine.”

Sidonis did know. His only ever time had been with a male turian he’d sparred with regularly. The guy had been fast as a lightning strike and as deadly as a pack of varren in a hand-to-hand fight. He’d been tall, though not as tall as Garrus, with dark plates and golden tattoos that had offset pale green eyes. His fringe had been lovely and his waist wiry. And he’d been so motherfucking flexible, too. Maybe they could’ve been something but he’d been moved to a black ops squad and Sidonis had never seen him again. Chances were he was dead now anyway.

“You know,” Garrus said, suddenly right up against him. With a hand on his upper thigh and inching higher. “You’ve got a pretty nice fringe. And, damn, I think I could fit one hand around your waist. I think we could work out some of this _pressure_ together. No strings attached. What do you say Sid?”

Sidonis wanted to. _Fucking spirits_ he wanted to. “Yeah.” He said and his subtones were screaming exactly what he thought about Garrus’ hand just shy of his junk, never mind his clothes and groin plates in the way. “Yeah, definitely.”

 

PART 3

+_-_-_-_-_+

Sidonis must have had too much to drink at that shitty bar. Because this, _this_ was some wonderful dream. Another amazing dream starring his…boss? Friend? Latest nocturnal inspiration? That last part had been true since the day they’d met and the other stuff sounded about right but he didn’t know. He must have passed out against Garrus’ shoulder because the smell of him and the heat of him too, was so close and so very good. Except _this_ was far better than any dream Sidonis has ever had.

Garrus’ tongue on the edge of his mandible drove him insane. Flicking twice against the underside before wrapping around it and leaving in a slick slide as he pulled back just enough to nip him there. His hands were flat on the wall to either side of Sidonis’ head, one leg pushed up between his to hold him in place. Garrus was still in his heavy armour while Sidonis wore only a thin set of civies. The weight, the heat from Garrus was intoxicating. A few minutes of fumbling in the dark with buckles and latches had the chestpiece falling to the ground with a thud, followed by the heavy shoulderguards and the gauntlets that covered his arms. He grabbed each of Garrus’ wrists and pulled his gloves off with his teeth, letting them fall too as he licked each palm. Then the black top of his undersuit smacked onto the floor.

Sidonis got a soft rumble – and more pressure from that thigh between his legs- for his efforts. It may have been years since he’d done this but he still knew a few tricks to keep the average turian male interested. Not that Garrus was average, far from it. Standing there and bare from the hips up, he was a perfect example of turian masculinity. All sinewy muscle and firm plates the color of sand under moonlight. His wide shoulders and chest tapered down to a waist that if Sidonis put his hands just above Garrus’ hips his fingers would meet along his spine. Sidonis, a little more scrawny than thin, felt inadequate by comparison.

But Garrus was doing that thing with his tongue again, the points of his teeth scraping along his mandible. Hands at his chest pulled open the toggles of his tunic to get to the plates and then talons ran over his natural armor to get at the soft hide of his unprotected stomach. Sidonis groaned at the touch, his back arching away from the wall as those hands grasped his hips. He could feel Garrus teasing the edge of his plates, his thumbs slipping just past the waistband.

His head spun wildly as his groin plates gave a sudden shift and he opened fully behind the fabric. His every sense amplified, his mouth watered and he jerked Garrus’ head back toward his, needing to taste him. Their  
mandibles bumped and slid together, familiar friction that had his heart beating faster. Their tongues touched, dueled and tangled around each other’s and Sidonis savored the experience. Garrus even _tasted_ righteous and honorable, it coated his tongue as he pulled away.

 

PART 4

It was maddening. He was _dripping_ sexual fluid and Garrus hadn’t touched his dick yet. Hell, their hips had yet to even brush. It had really been far too long. And Sidonis couldn’t decide where he wanted to touch first. The fringe, the fringe was good.

It made Garrus growl against his throat as he stroked there. The crest of horns felt like polished wood, hot and smooth and alive under his fingertips. He ghosted his talons along the edge of the longest one and got bitten in return. Sidonis groaned again, caught between pulling on the other turian’s fringe or jerking him closer and making him bite harder.

A lick to his face, tracing the lavender colony marking at the center of his chin. Another couple of licks to the front and back of each mandible, again tracing his colony tattoo. He pulled Garrus’ head down to return the affectionate gesture. Sketching the tip of his tongue slowly underneath one eye, over the bridge of his nose and following the thick line of blue under the other eye too. The marking stretched all the way to the shortest point of Garrus’ fringe at his temple.

Sidonis saved the mandibles for last. The lines were thinner there, horizontal instead of vertical like Sidonis’ own. He curled his tongue around them the way it had been done to him minutes ago, nipping gently at the two little spines on the end. Soothing with his tongue when he was done, reaching up to stroke Garrus’ fringe again.

Another growl into his neck and Garrus was suddenly falling to his knees, talons ripping open the clasp of Sidonis’ pants. He gasped at the unanticipated show of aggressiveness as the shredded remains of his clothes were tossed across the room. Then Garrus rubbed a path along his inner thighs and up over his hips to span his waist and grip him there. He never once touched his cock, pulsing and aching with need, but Sidonis was gasping for breath and writhing against the wall.

He reached out desperately for the other turian, fingers sliding over his head and down to cup both sides of his neck. Garrus, still kneeling between his feet, reversed the path of his hands. Squeezing his waist once, framing his hips with large and so warm palms. He caressed Sidonis’ thighs before finally, _finally_ wrapping both those hot hands around his dick and grasping him tightly.

“Oh, fuck,”

It was almost too much. Lights flashed behind his eyes as Garrus chuckled lightly, giving him a firm stroke from base to tip and he couldn’t stop the growl that worked its way out of his chest. The tip of a rough and unbelievably wet tongue touched the head of him and wrecked the rest of his higher thought processes.

Sidonis could scarcely breathe. He purred when Garrus licked him harder, subtones screaming to be fucked senseless. Another stroke and a firmer lick around the tip paired with an answering rumble had his talons scoring the wall. Again and again Garrus licked him, slowly at first and then faster as Sidonis started to press on his fringe to guide the motion. For obvious reasons he never took him fully into his mouth, but that tongue was a marvel. Raspy and wet and bending around his length like an asari stripper on a pole. Like _nothing_ he’d ever felt before.

 

PART 5

His every nerve was singing in bliss, the hide beneath his plates tingling, his heart was racing in his chest and the blood that rushed through his head sounded like the crashing of waves. How long had Garrus been bowed before him? Less than five minutes? More? Sidonis really, really didn’t know. He was awash in sensation and a fantastic heat that spread from one hand moving erratically over his shaft in a twisting slide to the other rubbing circles on the vulnerable flesh of his stomach.

“Garrus,” He panted, squeezing down on the spot underneath his fringe with both hands.

The other turian exhaled hard, hot breath causing Sidonis’ eyes to roll in his head. His hands jolted and Garrus took the opportunity to shove them away and hold them to the wall. He never stopped licking though, tongue swirling and winding and fucking _coiling_ around his dick until he couldn’t take anymore.

Euphoria flooded his system as he came, straining at the hold on his wrists and back arching almost painfully. For a full minute he forgot how to breathe, he almost forgot his name. And then Garrus’ hands were on his hips and he was being turned around and gently urged toward his bed.

Vaguely he heard the rest of Garrus’ armor smacking the floor as it was shed and the sliding click of a belt being removed. Sidonis moved to get onto his hands and knees on the bed but he was roughly pushed onto his back, arms pinned above his head as Garrus moved in between his spread knees.

“Still with me here Sidonis?” Garrus asked him and he nodded breathlessly. “Good,”

He was still hard, almost painfully so. Turians were one of the species that the males could go multiple times before losing rigidity. Drell could, he thought, maybe humans too, but he wasn’t sure. And why was he even thinking about that when he had _Garrus Vakarian_ between his legs? Fuck, why was he thinking at all?

Sidonis sighed when that rough tongue touched the inside of his mandible and then slid down to his throat. His tongue caressed over the pounding throb of his pulse, pressed firmly on his airway and then moved down onto his torso. Garrus licked over his plated chest and then between at the soft hide. When he reached Sidonis’ stomach he nuzzled his face back and forth, mandibles twitching gently as he angled his neck to rub his forehead against him.

A soft but adamant scent filled the room, fragrant and almost sickly-sweet. It came from Garrus where he rubbed against Sidonis’ stomach.

“Is that your musk?” Sidonis asked, trying to tug his arms free.

Garrus nodded and let his arms go, moving his tongue over the joint of his hip so suddenly it had him bucking.

“Smells nice.”

“Thanks,” He rumbled. “Yours smells pretty good too.”

His mandibles flicked open in a smile and he reached out to Garrus, ran his palms over his fringe until he reached his shoulders. “Come up here already.”

 

PART 6

Sidonis jerked him up his chest by his upper arms, their foreheads brushed softly for just a second before he turned his head to press his mandible against Garrus’ in gentle affection. He let his tongue snake out and touched the tip of the other turian’s and then slide along the length of it. He could taste himself on the others’ tongue, heady and inebriating. Garrus had _swallowed_ him; the knowledge made his head spin.

Titius, his sparring…partner had never done that. Actually, he’d only ever licked Sidonis to completion once and at the end of it he’d spilled his seed on the floor before being shoved to his knees to return the favor. Only Titius had made him swallow, forcing his head still until he was done and then fucking him the hardest he ever had before Sidonis even had a chance to catch his breath. Of course, that had been the way of things in basic. There hadn’t even been any opportunity to relax and discover pleasure properly with a lover. It had always been just about attaining an intense release as quickly as possible.

Not like this thing with Garrus at all. Slow and explorative but still more intense than everything he and Titius had ever done. They were just getting started, and Sidonis really needed to touch more of the sand-colored turian above him.

He worked his hands down over Garrus’ chest, talons grazing lightly at the hide between the plates, feeling leathery skin twitch and contract. He pressed his palms flat to the unprotected heat of his lower stomach, fingers spreading outward over his waist to grip him. Garrus nestled his face into Sidonis’ neck and the soft rumble he’d been making turned into a full out thrum of content.

Sidonis could feel him, hot and heavy and slick resting against his thigh. Reaching between them, he took Garrus’ cock into his palm and began to stroke him. Firmly at the base and up the shaft, his grip becoming a little looser as he neared the tip so he could run his thumb easily over the head. That’s when he felt the hand sliding over his thigh and under him, long fingers finding him and spreading him open in a familiar way.

It left Sidonis panting against the arch of Garrus’ throat, his every sense narrowed down and focused on that touch. He’d almost forgotten what it felt like to be caressed inside and a shudder ripped up his spine, his hand convulsing around Garrus in a way he’s pretty sure was painful by the snarl he heard. Either that or it felt really fucking good.

“Spirits you’re tight. Tell me,” Garrus said and his subtones were vibrating madly. “Please tell me I’m not your first.”

It took effort not to laugh at the ridiculousness of that statement. And not to thrust against the fingers that were still and unmoving inside him.

“No.” He said and found that he couldn’t stop the small chuckle or the honesty of his next words. “You’re just my second.”

“Fuck.”

It hurts to _not_ move. “Oh spirits, yes, please.”

“Try to relax for me then,”

Garrus’ knees pushed Sidonis’ legs further apart, hips sliding between them, the fingers that are still in him twisting and pulling back just a little before surging forward again. It felt so good. He’s a lot more considerate than Titius ever was.

_He blocked the strike to his face with the side of his forearm, grabbing at Titius’ wrist and attempting to use his momentum to throw him. All that happened was Sidonis jerked him closer and hot breath feathered over his face. Green eyes narrowed and heated, pupils tiny slivers of black as the taller turian glared down at him. Titius grinned once and hooked his foot behind Sidonis’. He’s on his hands and knees before he’s sure what happened and Titius is behind him._

_“You can tell me to stop, but I don’t think you want me to.” He’d already pulled his pants down._

_“I’ll fucking hurt you if you do.”_

_Titius had laughed and entered him in one hard, slick thrust._

PART 7

Garrus entered him so slowly, inch by agonizing, blissful inch. He couldn’t breathe and it’d been so long that the intrusion pretty much just hurt at first. But the ice-eyed turian shifted and readjusted them, changed the angle so that on his next thrust it started to feel good. The thrust after that felt amazing and then Garrus was in him to the hilt, long and thick and filling him completely.

Sidonis bent his knees on either side of Garrus’ hips, angling himself so that each thrust that followed was deep and hitting on that magic spot inside, that spot that swathed his nerves in lightning strikes of ecstasy and warmth that just kept building and building until the pressure in his groin was too much and he came again. He gasped, writhing and arching under Garrus, his legs automatically wrapped around the back of the other turian’s legs, despite their spurs catching, in an attempt to bring them closer together.

 He also had a grip on the tender plating beneath Garrus’ fringe as he rubbed his face back and forth in the other turian’s neck and under his mandibles, almost desperate to spread his mating scent all over the man. It’s not like he really had control over it, sometimes baser instincts just run rampart over higher brain functions. Like the one that screamed he had no right whatsoever to leave his smell on Garrus like that. Even if the sex is fucking amazing. The man Omega calls Archangel does not and will never belong to him like that.

Was that his second or his third orgasm? He’s so awash in hard-to-name sensations that he didn’t know if Garrus had even had _one_ yet. That contented purr he’d been making was constant now, hitching occasionally with his breathing and sounding almost like a growl.

And then Sidonis was suddenly on his stomach, his hips jerked back with an iron grip and held flush to the other turian. He hardly had a chance to get his knees under him before he was impaled again. The thrust was so deep it hurt, the air forced from his lungs in what could only be called a scream. Then Garrus’ hand was around the base of his throat in a loose comforting grip while his other hand slid over Sidonis’ belly in a soft caress and he was pulled upright. He leaned back weakly against the other turian as the hand moved down his stomach and stroked him.

“Sorry, didn’t mean for that to hurt.” Garrus murmured and his subharmonics were sincere.

Sidonis only nodded, trying to move his hips but he was so out of breath and already at his edge again. A few more strokes, a little more friction on his dick from Garrus’ roughly calloused hand and he would go over. Again.

He didn’t know how Garrus could keep such an unhurried pace, slow and deliberate, gradual. Like Garrus wanted to drag the orgasm out of him, stroke for stroke and thrust for thrust. He’s deep, angled up into Sidonis and pulling out slowly, so slowly and the movement of his palm is twice as slow.

Titius had never treated him like this and he didn’t know how to react. He didn’t know what to do to push Garrus to take him like he was a few moments ago. No more soft lingering touches that leave him feeling like something other than a one-night-stand. No more of the careful and measured thrusts that left him panting but not gasping for air. No more tight and yet somehow still gentle grip on his cock.

Sidonis wanted to forget who and what he was. He wanted to forget how to breathe, for his heart to race in his chest. He wanted his muscles to tremble in languid exhaustion as he drowned in pleasure. He wanted Garrus to stop treating him like a regular lover and fuck him. He just wanted Garrus to fuck him and leave him senseless.

PART 8

Another twisting caress from the base of his cock up to the tip and back down again. Another slow slide into him, Garrus’ thick arousal hitting on that spot with the precision he was known for and Sidonis rumbled in delight. It’s not enough for him and it can’t be enough for Garrus to come. And he needed Garrus to come like he needed the blood in his veins, it meant as much – more- to him as his own release.

Sidonis began to wonder if he should beg to be taken harder and faster. Titius had liked that a lot but he didn’t know if that was Garrus’ sort of thing. It’s a risk between turning him on, what he wanted to do, or the action making a debauchery of everything they’d done so far. He didn’t want to tarnish this thing with Garrus but he really wasn’t sure how much more of this slow fucking he could take.

Garrus pushed him forward suddenly, too close to the mattress to support his weight on his hands so his forearms were all that kept him from face-planting the bed. He leaned over Sidonis, mouth next to his ear and mandibles brushing the back of his neck in a way that had his eyes fluttering and a sound rumbling out of his chest. Garrus gave an answering purr and licked the underside of his fringe. His knees abruptly shoved Sidonis’ thighs further apart, knocking him flat even as his hands gripped his hips firmly.

“Do you have any idea what your purring does to me?” Garrus asked him hotly and his harmonics and subtones were unlike anything he’d ever heard from him before. Rough and discordant, touching places inside him as surely as his cock.

He wanted to say his name, to beg, but what came out of his mouth was completely unintentional. “Archangel… please…”

Sidonis let his pleased purr grow in volume, let his subvocals ask for what his voice couldn’t seem to say. _Fuck me. Fuck me hard and fast, make me beg for release. Fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me._

It turned out that even Garrus wasn’t immune to his baser instincts because he snapped then. Teeth gripped the back of his neck, not quite piercing skin but firm enough to make breaking the hold a distant thought. The hands at his hips tightened, talons digging into him but like Garrus’ teeth they didn’t puncture his flesh.

He rocked into Sidonis, pounding into him harder and faster than before. Going deep and hitting all those sweet spots that had stars bursting behind his eyes and the blood in his veins feeling like it’s burning through him. A hand around his dick moved in time with his thrusts, stroking and pulling and caressing him. Garrus drew the orgasm up from the depths of his being, from his very soul until it burst like an overripe fruit. Sidonis’ entire frame trembled with the force of his final release and he felt Garrus spill molten and red-hot inside him.

His vision whited out as he collapsed flat to the bed, the other turian thrusting into him several more times before going taut with another release. Both hands were tight on his hips again and he felt a brief flash of pain before his brain registered that Garrus’ talons had cut into his flesh. It didn’t feel deep but it was enough to bleed and it hurt enough that he made a noise of discomfort.

PART 9

Garrus fell onto his side next to him, his breathing harsh as he wiped the sweat from his throat. He gently cupped the back of Sidonis’ neck and ran a hand over his flank until he encountered the blood.

“Spirits!” He sat up, at the same time pushing him over. “ _Fuck_ , I’m sorry Sidonis. Let me grab some medigel from my armor, just hold on a second. Shit I really cut into you, fuck I’m sorry.”

Sidonis was having trouble catching his breath and slowing the pound of his heart. “It’s alright,” he said, shivering as Garrus spread the medigel gently over the skin of his hips. “I’ve had a lot worse.”

Garrus gave him an odd look; his upper browridge raised slightly, the expression similar to some he’d seen with humans. “During sex?” He asked hesitantly, almost cautiously but those subtones of his sounded irate.

Sidonis found that for some reason he couldn’t look Garrus in the eyes. “Sometimes, yeah.” He answered finally. “Don’t really want to talk about it though.”

Garrus nodded, settling down with his arms behind his head while staying mindful of his fringe. “I can understand that. Not that I, uh, have any personal experience but I can understand.”

He still couldn’t look Garrus in the eyes but he believed him. “Still don’t want to talk about it Garrus.”

“Alright Sidonis, alright.” He closed his eyes and sighed softly. “So, I don’t know about you, but that was exactly what I needed.”

Sidonis let loose a short laugh. “Oh yeah, me too.” He shifted slightly and discovered that he was laying in his own cum. “Oh, that’s just gross.”

“What?”

“Lying in a fucking wet spot.” He growled. “Nasty. Give me a second to change the sheets ‘cause I’m not fucking sleeping in that.”

Garrus huffed a laugh as he rolled to his feet, grabbing his undersuit off the floor and slipping into it. “Thanks for this Sidonis but I should probably go.”

Sidonis stuffed the soiled sheet in a hamper before replacing it, disgusting as it was he did like the way Garrus’ scent mixed with his own. Maybe he’d let it linger a bit before he washed it. He wasn’t really thinking when he answered, tossing the blankets back onto the bed where they’d been kicked away.

“You can stay the night if you want.” He said. “Doesn’t bother me if you need to catch some sleep before getting back to base. Heh, we already know the bed’s big enough for both of us to crash in.”

Garrus paused where he’d been gathering his armor together, his mandibles fluttering. “I, uh this…this was just stress relief between friends. No uh, no obligations.”

“Fuck Garrus, I’m not asking you to commit to anything. I’m offering to share a spot to sleep, just between two friends that are spent from totally awesome sex. Take it or leave it, it’s just a bed.”

“Totally awesome sex huh?” Garrus asked and his mandibles titled in a rakish grin.

“Best I’ve had in a long fucking time.” Sidonis told him with completely honest subtones.

“Yeah, me too.” He bent and finished gathering his armor. “You’re right though, I’m too tired to head out. Make some room Sid.”

It wasn’t a surprise that Garrus was gone when he woke up in the morning. But his pillow smelled good and the sheets were still a little warm and he decided to let them linger for a few days, like the set in his hamper, before he gave them a wash. Neither one of them said anything when they met at the base later and the night between them drifted away like a dream. For months it was business as usual.

 

PART 10

+_-_-_-_-_+

A little over four months after his night with Garrus, Archangel’s team raids a warehouse in what’s an unusually quiet district of Omega. Fear of death will do that to a populace though, and the Eclipse had fear of death down to an art form. Bodies littered the streets and alleyways, not a lot of them mind you, just enough to get the point across that crossing a not-so-invisible line into the district is certain death via bullet. Not all the deaths were clean, yeah, some of the bodies displayed perforated skulls. Others though, other bodies showed wounds that nicked arteries or decimated some vital organ, leaving the victim to bleed out in immense pain with absolutely no promise of rescue. The sight of it all had Archangel at the forefront and the man inside, Garrus, pushed back into some dark little hole.

It’s not the first time Sidonis had seen that sort of thing happen. Garrus was just a man, resolute but fallible. Archangel was an idea, confident and unwavering. Justice incarnate and unstoppable in his mission to rid Omega of this moral ruin. Of this devastation of spirit. Archangel would not be swayed and would not fall. But Garrus was just a man and all men make mistakes.

So, it’s inevitable that something goes horribly wrong.

Sidonis was with Garrus and Weaver when he rounded a corner and walked right into the barrel of a heavy pistol. Close as he was, his armor and shields didn’t protect him from an armor-piercing round. Garrus yanking back on his hardsuit and Weaver’s sudden biotic charge (and aren’t they _always_ sudden) were the only things that saved him from death. He’s still shot and bleeding profusely but for the moment he was safe around the bend on the corner, crouched down with his hand pressing on his stomach to staunch the flow of sticky cerulean blood. The rapid fire of Garrus’ assault rifle sounded a lot like his heartbeat and he wasn’t conscious for very long.

+_-_-_-_-_+

The great thing about Weaver was she wasn’t just a biotic with some serious skill; she was also a hell of a medic. Within an hour any shrapnel in the wound was gone, the wound itself was stitched nicely together and any pain Sidonis may have felt had been pleasantly numbed with medigel and anesthetic. He’s lucky none of his plates were damaged and that the bullet passed by all things vital, although he wished he’d been lucky enough not to get shot in the first place.

Sidonis couldn’t care less that she was human or that she was the only female on Archangel’s team. Or that aside from himself, she was the youngest person Garrus had recruited. Her story was like most of theirs, the Omega gangs had taken everything from her. Eclipse in particular had murdered her parents and younger brothers hours before Melanis and Garrus had found her. Tenacious and armed with only an empty pistol, standing in the center of a barrier and spitting vulgarities until Garrus calmed her with promises of justice. She was only a security consultant, working alongside her parents but she had killed four of the bitches on her own.

Weaver was also the first real friend (Garrus notwithstanding) Sidonis had made since childhood. Even if she looked at him like she did the picture of her brothers, like he’s family. She smiled at him when he came to and squeezed his shoulder once before patting the side of his face.

PART 11

“How are you feeling?” She asked him.

“Numb,” He told her, flaring his mandibles into a small smile. “Thanks.”

She shrugged one shoulder and pushed her pale hair behind one of those strange little external ears that only humans had. Hers were donned with no less than six little silver rings on each and they twinkled in the light of the room. It was vaguely mesmerizing and he’d been known to watch them from time to time because Weaver liked to change them out. Sometimes they were silver, other times gold and every once in a while decorated with small glistening stones. They had belonged to Weaver’s mother and were the only things she treasured.

“So the boss huh?” Her smile is lascivious and a little wicked.

Humans didn’t have the second voicebox that turians possessed, so a lot of things he would hear in the subvocals, like intent or sincerity, were absent. But her tone still set a strange feeling in his stomach. “What about him?”

Weaver rolled her eyes and stood to put the rest of the medical supplies away in various places. “Don’t give me that shit Lantar. You know what I’m talking about. He flipped when you were shot.”

Sidonis just looked at her. “Of course he did. I’m the only one to have been wounded so bad.”

“Please, it wasn’t that bad.”

“Compared to mostly scratches, torn muscles and the rare broken bone, yeah it was.” He said and moved to set up, but a twinge of pain in his abdomen put him flat again. “Besides, he cares about us; he would have flipped, as you say, over anyone.”

“Not like he did over you.” Weaver pointed a slender hand at him. “He plugged that merc full or holes and you _know_ Garrus doesn’t waste ammo like that. He’s a one shot kind of guy…turian.”

“I know you’re trying to make a point here Weaver, but I’m not getting it.”

“Y’know, a couple of months ago Garrus didn’t show up till early morning. Pretty unusual for him, and Mierin said he smelled like you.”

Sidonis felt his mandibles snap closed to his jaw. “So?”

“So I did some reading and it so happens that you turians have scent glands. Not that uncommon I guess, I mean a lot of earth animals have them too. But the thing is, you turians only start to smell like one another when you fuck.”

 

PART 12

She was smiling at him, hands on her cocked hips and Sidonis had to fight to swallow the lump of something strange in his throat. Fucking salarian couldn’t keep his damn mouth shut and now they’d have to have a talk about how not everything was a social experiment.

“I’m… still not seeing your point.” He said at last. “Turians of the same gender sleep together all the time and our scents rub off on one another. It happens Weaver and it doesn’t always mean anything.”

“I read that too Lantar.” Another roll of her eyes. “Your species is seriously kinky, you know that? Not like humans, it’s 2184 and we’re still too wrapped up in propriety and political bullshit. But I’m not talking in generalities here. I’m talking about Garrus. Who lost control when you passed out, who growled and hissed when _any_ of us came within five feet of you. Even me, the medic and your friend. He carried you out of there and then I had to sedate him so I could treat you. Do you know what the extranet says about that?”

He didn’t but he had seen the behavior before when mates protected each other. “Just because it’s on the extranet doesn’t mean it’s true.”

“So then you and Garrus have slept together?” She asked and he really didn’t like the way her eyes lit up.

“Yeah,” He said. “But only the once and just to ease some stress. We’re not mates or anything like that, we’re just friends.”

“That is fucking hot, excuse me.” Weaver fanned her face with her hand and turned to leave.

“Hey!” He called. “Where’s Garrus anyway?”

“Still sedated and out cold in his bunk.” Weaver told him. “You stay here and ping me when that anesthetic wears off, get some damn sleep Lantar.”

“Yeah, thanks Weaver.” But she’s already gone and he was suddenly so tired that he’s not sure if he’d even spoken.

+_-_-_-_-_+

PART 13

+_-_-_-_-_+

After an initial stop-in, just to make sure he wasn’t actually dying, Garrus avoided him. If it wasn’t mission related or some mundane everyday activity (like a ‘hey hand me that’) sort of thing, Sidonis was pretty much ignored. Weaver must have imagined that shit about his protective display back at the warehouse. A week passed and then another. Eventually the lack of acknowledgement started to get to him and the tension in his mind, in his spirit, began to build and build until it was maddening.

When Sidonis came to Omega, he had been looking for a purpose. Four years after that, he’d been looking to lose himself in every bottle he could get his hands on. Adrift and without a path, Garrus had found him and saved his life in more ways than one. He hadn’t just stopped a few Blood Pack from painting the walls and floor of some illicit bar sapphire with turian blood. He’d shown Sidonis the power of conviction and made him believe again in the inherent virtuousness of sapient beings.

That night, over inexcusably revolting alcohol, Sidonis had bared his soul. He’d itemized to Garrus his every fault, imperfection and weakness. He told Garrus about the child he’d mistakenly killed during his short career as a merc for a no-name group. The heedless batarian, a scant few years younger than Sidonis had been, who had walked blindly into a barrage of gunfire and been hit with his bullet.

It had devastated him in unimaginable ways and he’d walked away, never once looking back. All his ties with the small merc group were cut and he’d begun to lose himself in despondency and anguish. He hadn’t just hated his careless actions; he’d hated himself.

That first night, Sidonis confessed everything to the turian in C-Sec blue. It was Garrus that gave him the confidence to attempt atonement and implanted that poisonous little sliver of hope. That insidious little whisper in his mind that demanded he at least _try_ to find absolution.

Now, just shy of two years since they had met, Sidonis wondered when he’d fallen so hard for the turian called Archangel. Was it that first night filled with authentic and harsh confessions? Had it been every mission to rid Omega of injustice or all the time in between just getting to know each other? Or had it been that one night? That one amazing night in his apartment with Garrus kneeling between his feet and rising above him in his bed.

When had admiration and loyalty become pure affection and love? Sidonis had yet to pinpoint the moment, he’d only just put a name to the feeling that had been growing in his chest. And, despite what Weaver had said, and what the others had apparently witnessed, he knew Garrus did not feel the same about him. It had been months and the other turian hadn’t even shown an interest in fucking him again. Even if Sidonis was harboring a want for something more, he would have enjoyed that at the very least. But some days, Garrus doesn’t so much as look at him.

It hurt a lot and wounded him in ways he’d never experienced before. It’s not the first time that Garrus had left him wondering how to behave.

+_-_-_-_-_+

 

PART 14

+_-_-_-_-_+

One night Sidonis found himself in the lower level of Afterlife. Aria, the self-titled queen of Omega was what humans called a lesser of evils. Her word was as much law as Omega ever saw and she ruled with a fist of iron. The gangs feared her and the people revered her, though that respect was colored by a healthy dose of fear too. There was one, all-encompassing and easy rule to follow on Omega; don’t fuck with Aria. And Sidonis could respect that if nothing else.

If he’d had more sense in his head and if his libido hadn’t been directing his movements, he would have avoided the place. And, if he’d had more sense in his head, he wouldn’t have begun shamelessly trying to seduce Aria’s second in command, another turian named Grizz. Of course, he was only hitting on Grizz because Gavorn, Aria’s glorified vorcha exterminator, was already in a rare and exclusive relationship with a human male. Or so Sidonis had heard, but when he’d asked Gavorn about his companion the barefaced turian had simply grinned.

So Grizz it was. He was older than Sidonis by a good thirty or so years and it showed in his faded bronze colony tattoos, the dullness of his russet eyes and his pale brown plates. Grizz was also a lot taller than any other turian he’d met, towering over him by nearly two feet. He had an easy rumbling laugh, even if it did always sound a little malicious.

But Sidonis was already a lot more than halfway drunk when Grizz got into his personal space and passed his talons along the side of his neck in brazen invitation. He titled his head toward the back of Afterlife, where Sidonis knew the private rooms were located. He downed his drink and let the older turian pull him along by his wrist.

Less than five minutes later, he was face first against the wall, hands beside his head, with Grizz buried in him to the hilt. They weren’t facing each other, so there wasn’t any tangling of tongues, no brushing of mandibles. Grizz’s hands were clenched tightly on his hips and his teeth had found a nice tender and unplated spot on the back of his neck. It felt great, not as good as it had been with Garrus, but it’s just what he needed. Grizz’s fucking was hard, fast and satisfyingly rough with teeth and talons piercing his flesh.

It was almost like being with Titius had been all those years ago and Sidonis remembered how much he’d relished that. No, how much he’d actually loved it, how much he’d loved every second of it. Every time he’d been shoved into an abandoned room and held down as Titius had straddled him and took away their clothes. Every time Sidonis had gone to his knees behind some stack of crates to lick at the other turian until he came. He remembered it all, and how they could have been something special if given a little time.

PART 15

Grizz was really hammering into him, teeth leaving his neck to nip along the back side of his mandible. One hand left his hip to slide between his legs and grip his erection and pump him with a firm confidence. Up, down and twist before he repeated the movement, his grip getting steadily tighter with each pass. Grizz thumbed the slit at the head and Sidonis stopped the hum of pleasure in his chest before it could escape but it still vibrated through him.

“Let me hear you,” Grizz’s voice was muffled against the side of his neck as his teeth started to scrape sensitive skin. A bite and a lick followed. “C’mon, purr for me.”

Grizz felt amazing, thick and hard and _all the way_ inside him, but there’s no fun in just submitting. “Make me,” He growled.

So Grizz made him, his pace a punishment of in and out, thrusts almost hitting just the right spot but never exactly. The hand around Sidonis’ cock tightened, slick with fluid and gliding over him faster and faster until he was teetering at the precipice of ecstasy. Grizz sent him over the edge with a hard thrust that sent off a supernova in his nerves. The older turian finished hotly inside him with a snarl against his neck. He didn’t purr, he was beyond that. What he did was scream his release until there was no air left and until his legs couldn’t hold him anymore.

Grizz bore his weight easily and his purr was a little unsteady as he rubbed their faces together. Sidonis caught a whiff of him, light but captivating. He didn’t smell like Garrus but it was something he could get used to and then decided that he would because he already wanted Grizz again.

Sidonis let out a little trill of thanks as he pulled his pants back on. It was possible that he was still a little drunk and equally possible that the chemicals associated with sex were still riding his brain when he spoke.

 “We should do this again.”

Grizz gave a slight flick of his mandibles and his subtones hummed out a note of eagerness. “Come find me again, any time.”

His heart actually fluttered. Maybe he was still a little drunk, or maybe he was just tired of being alone.

A few days passed before Sidonis sought out the older turian again and their second time together was a lot different. It was slower and they took more time to learn each other. Sidonis learned the touches that made Grizz twitch and sigh and arch with pleasure. The other turian discovered him too, what made him moan or purr or swear in frustration. There was a little bit of getting to know each other without the use of their hands or tongues but they didn’t do a whole lot of talking. Sidonis made it a point to never talk about his work and especially not Garrus the few times their talk steered in that direction.

After the fifth or sixth time sleeping together, it stopped being casual and became something a little more. Sometimes he slept at Grizz’s apartment and sometimes it was the other way around.

+_-_-_-_-_+

PART 16

+_-_-_-_-_+

They had been together for a few months before Mierin made an offhand comment about the scent of his boyfriend.

“Found a companion yes? Older male, much older, aromatic marking is very strong.”

Vortash and Garrus were cleaning their rifles and swapping mods. Weaver was searching for a missing boot with the help of Melanis and commentary from Ripper.

“What?” Nearly everyone present in Archangel’s squad turned to look at Sidonis as his mandibles hung open in surprise.

The crazy fucking salarian fiddled with his omnitool, pulling up diagrams and figures Sidonis didn’t recognize but he thought they were to do with explosives. Multitasking was a salarian pastime. 

Ripper paused the game he’d been playing to light a smoke. “Know something? I noticed the kid acting more chipper, thought it might be something along those lines.”

“Oh yes, sure of it.” Mierin said, waving the omnitool over him. “Been together exclusively for some time, months perhaps. Pheromones in scent express a readiness for lifetime mate.”

“What?” Sidonis repeated, harmonics rattling with anxiety. “No, no it’s not like that at all we’re just…um, we’re just dating I guess.”

Vortash, the only other turian beside him and Garrus was suddenly right next to him. He stuck his face into Sidonis’ throat and breathed in deeply before returning to his gun. “Your boyfriend is just shy of leaving a permanent mark. _You_ might be just dating, but he’s serious about you.”

“What?” Fuck, was that the word-of-the-day? “No, oh no-no-no. There’s no fucking way Grizz is-“

 _“Grizz?!”_ Garrus’ voice and his furious subtones cut across everyone else. “Aria’s lieutenant Grizz?”

Sidonis sent his boss a growl with his second voicebox that left his feelings completely discernable, at least to other turians. _You had your damn chance!_ To the others he just sounded pissed off and he certainly was. He’d waited months –months! - for Garrus to show even a little bit of interest.

Garrus’ rifle slammed down onto the table and out of the corner of his eyes Sidonis saw Weaver jump and back away.

“You and I need to have a word.” Garrus snarled and grabbed him by the neck of his armor. “Right now Sidonis.”

 

PART 17

The automated doors couldn’t exactly slam but they did make a pretty satisfying snap when they shut. They had barely closed when Garrus turned on him with a snarl and shoved at his chest with one hand.

“What in the spirits’ names are you doing?” He demanded. “The Queen of Omega’s second in command? Really Lantar, are you insane? I thought you wanted to make amends for your mistakes, I thought you were searching for salvation. You don’t do that by getting into bed with Aria’s private army, of all things. And Grizz is-“

“And Grizz is what, Garrus?” Sidonis snapped, shoving him back and out of his space.

“He’s no good for you.” The other turian told him simply. “He’s no good for you and he’s too fucking close to Aria. What makes you think he’s not using you to find us? Or to find Archangel?”

Sidonis pushed a talon hard into Garrus’ chestplate. “You’re Archangel! And Grizz knows nothing about you! Do you really think I’m stupid enough to talk about my fucking day job? He doesn’t know about you and he won’t. We don’t talk about that stuff, alright, we just fuck.”

Garrus stared at him for a moment before he was driving Sidonis back against the door. He put his face in his neck the same way that Vortash had and inhaled sharply. And then his tongue darted out and licked a stripe from the base of his throat to just under his jaw, his teeth scraping. He could not stop the jolt of pleasure it brought him. Or the sudden urge to grab Garrus and shove his tongue down his throat, but he just couldn’t do that. Because he had Grizz now he was finally fucking happy for the first time in forever.

In that instant, Sidonis had an epiphany. Whatever it was he’d harbored for Garrus, whatever that twisting and burning _thing_ deep in his chest had been. It was nothing compared to what he felt for Grizz.

And then he was just pissed. “What the fuck!”

The larger turian stepped back, shaking his head. “I remember the way you taste, I kept thinking about it. But now, well, now you taste different. I guess you taste like Grizz, and I could smell someone on you, didn’t know it was him though. Damn it Sidonis, just…damn it.”

PART 18

Sidonis angrily wiped the saliva from his neck and then wiped his hand on his pants. “You remember the way I taste? You’ve had fucking months to do more than just remember Garrus! I waited and waited and waited for you to come to me again. I hoped you would, I wanted you to. But if it wasn’t mission related you didn’t even look at me or talk to me.”

Garrus looked away from him, passed a hand over his crest. “I should never…we should never have…It wasn’t my intention to hurt you like this Sidonis.”

Something Weaver had said flashed in his mind and it seemed apt.

“No shit Sherlock.” He sneered. “Like it wasn’t my intention to care about you; to love you. Just like it wasn’t my intention to climb into bed with Grizz or for him to care about _me_ so much. It took me forever to climb out of those bottles you found me in Garrus, and you damn near threw me into them again. And you know something? I care about Grizz too, and if he wants to make it permanent, then fine because I’m tired of being alone. I’m tired of hating myself and everything I’ve ever done.”

 “Lantar,” Garrus said and took a step forward, reaching out a hand slowly.

Sidonis closed his eyes against the sudden pain in his head from the pounding of his heart. “And I’m fucking tired of waiting for you to notice me again.”

“I’m so sorry.” His harmonics keened with sorrow.

“I know, okay, I know.” Sidonis sighed and found himself moving toward the hand Garrus held out to him. “I won’t fuck this up Garrus. I’m with you, with Archangel until the end and I give you my word on that.”

A light brush of fingers against the side of his face had Sidonis sighing almost too softly to hear. A hand grasped the back of his neck and gently urged him closer and their foreheads touched for the barest second before Garrus let him go.

“The others probably think I killed you.” He said mildly with a twitch of one mandible.

Sidonis laughed. “Want me to wait for a bit after you leave to fuck with them?”

Garrus shook his head once and chuckled. “That could be fun, but we better not.”

“Oh well then.”

“About Grizz,” Garrus began. “Lantar, if he were to discover that you’re part of Archangel, your life would be… there wouldn’t be a lot I could do to protect you.”

“I know, but he won’t find out. I’m careful about these things and Grizz doesn’t ask a lot of questions. He just wants me to-“

“I really don’t want to know.” The other turian said quickly. “Just…do you think he’s serious about you? That he’s, what do humans call it, in for the long haul?”

“Yeah, I think so.” He answered.

“And, uh, are you serious about him too?”

Sidonis flared both mandibles in a wide smile. “I’m happy with him, I’m happy with myself again.”

“Good, that’s uh, that’s good Lantar. I’m glad for you.”

“Thank you Garrus.”

There was a moment of awkward silence where neither one of them was sure what to say or how to act. But Garrus grinned suddenly and titled his head at the closed doors.

“I’ve changed my mind.” He said. “Let’s fuck with them.”

 

PART 19

+_-_-_-_-_+

When Sidonis sauntered out of the room fifteen minutes later, Weaver threw her arms around his neck and squeezed tightly.

“Fucking Jesus, I thought he killed you!” She was holding so tightly that her feet hung off the ground. “Are you okay Lantar?”

He clasped her shoulders gently until she let go. “Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Did he say anything?”

Garrus had decided to leave the room in a rush and to depart from their base. _“I’ll go for some drinks and check in when I get the chance.” He’d said, mandibles widening in a smirk. “Just loiter for a bit.”_

“No, he just stormed out of there like his ass was on fire and left without even looking at anyone. Everybody kind of left after that; he really killed the mood in here.” Weaver told him. “Are you sure you’re alright? Garrus didn’t hit you or anything?”

When she reached up to cup his mandibles, Sidonis took a step back, catching her hands in his. That was a little too personal of a touch and lately he only allowed Grizz intimacies like that. He would have allowed Garrus to, but well, that obviously wasn’t going to happen again. Actually, now that he thought about it, he was kind of mad that Vortash had taken such a liberty with him earlier, that had been a bit too friendly from someone that had never even touched him before.

 

“No, no. He just yelled at me a lot.”

“So you’ve just been sitting in there…” Her eyes darkened and she glared at him suddenly, punching him squarely in the chest. “You motherfucker! You and Garrus were pulling the wool over on us!”

Sidonis laughed and blocked her next strike. “It was his idea!”

She aimed a kick at his shins next and he let it connect. “Like I believe that shit, this whole thing has your name written all over it.”

“Okay, okay. It was my idea but he didn’t say no.”

Weaver smiled at him, pushed her hair behind her ears and stopped her playful attack. “But wait, I thought you and Garrus were a thing.”

Sidonis shook his head. “I told you we weren’t.” His subharmonics let out a note of melancholy. “What we did…it was just between friends. It didn’t mean anything.”

“It didn’t mean anything,” She repeated slowly. “To you or to him?”

Spirits, she was perceptive for a human that couldn’t hear any of the complex tones from his second set of vocal cords. He lowered his head to stare at his feet and let out a sound of hopelessness that Weaver would be able to hear. A strange cross between a buzzing whir and a strangled moan. The small woman put her arms around his middle and pulled him close in a tight but awkward hug.

“I’m sorry Lantar.”

“I’ll get over it.” He said quietly. “It was fun, amazing actually, totally and absolutely amazing. But it wasn’t…Garrus is… I don’t know Weaver.”

“So he rocked your world?” She stepped back smiling again and tugging him toward the fridge.

“I…don’t know what that means.”

Weaver laughed again and tossed him a cold bottle. “Use your imagination. Let’s get drunk, my spiky pal, to celebrate your boyfriend.”

He gave her a shocked look. “You’re not gonna yell at me too?”

She drank nearly a third of her bottle in one go. “Tell me something.” She said. “Does this Grizz make you happy? Does your heart race and your blood pump when he’s near you? Do your thoughts always go to him at the worst times in the best ways?”

“Yes.”

“Is he good to you?”

“Oh yeah,” Sidonis said, thoughts drifting to just how _good_ Grizz was to him.

Pink spread across Weaver’s cheeks and he realized he had purred the words in his lowest audible tone.

“Alright then, I don’t need details.” Another little bit of the bottle vanished. “So if you’re happy, then it’s all good. Just don’t do anything stupid Lantar.”

Sidonis reached out and tapped her on the nose affectionately. “I won’t Weaver, I promise.”

+_-_-_-_-_+

PART 20

+_-_-_-_-_+

Grizz was waiting in his bed when Sidonis got back to his apartment. Completely naked and already aroused, one arm behind his head and the other resting lightly on his stomach. The other turian splayed his mandibles in a mock leer and as Sidonis watched, that hand slid down his stomach to grip the head of his cock firmly.

“Been waiting long?” Sidonis asked, quickly shedding his nondescript armor and the thin suit underneath.

“Long enough that I _really_ don’t want to wait any more.” Grizz rumbled and gestured him closer.

“Think I’ll just watch you for a bit.”

Grizz chuckled and that malevolent undertone was absent, replaced with something a little more teasing. “Guess I’ll have to put on a show for you then.”

Sidonis growled softly. “I guess you will.”

He grabbed the only chair and pulled it closer to the bed. Grizz bent his knees and spread his legs wider to give him a better view. His hand slid top to bottom, gradually accelerating with each pass, steadily getting faster until the movements were almost just a blur of motion. He made the sweetest of sounds, not quite a growl and too soft to be considered a purr.

Grizz gave another sliding stroke of his hand, the palm squeezing around the base and the head as he let out a dual toned sigh. The talons of his other hand dug into one of his thighs, drawing the tiniest drop of blood before he repeated the action low on his stomach just above his groin plates. His back arched beautifully as both hands wrapped around his dick, one at the base and the other circling the head. He rocked into the touch, thrusting his hips now more than moving his hands. Judging by the steady hum of pleasure he made, he was already pretty close to his first release.

Watching Grizz masturbate for him was the hottest thing ever and he was starting to get slick behind loosening groin plates. He resisted the urge to let his hardness emerge as long as he could, currently watching his lover was more fun. Listening to Grizz was pretty hot too. Every moan and sigh and multi-tonal keen of bliss caused a rush of blood to his cock and a flare of warmth in his veins.

Grizz turned his head on the pillow, again thrusting into his hands. He breathed a growl, those dark russet eyes shining with lust as he looked at Sidonis. Their gazes locked as Grizz’s back arched and his hips bucked madly as his hands moved in a twisting up and down motion, that first orgasm spilling from him and all over his stomach. The older turian came back to himself slowly, body lowering by degrees back to the bed and his legs falling open as he gave himself a few more strokes to work out every drop.

Sidonis wasn’t sure exactly when he’d emerged fully hard and so slick with his own lubricant he was drenched with it. But he couldn’t sit in that chair anymore just watching Grizz without touching him. He moved to the bed and knelt between the other turian’s widely spread thighs, his knees opening them even more as he leaned over him.

“That was a pretty entertaining display.” Sidonis rumbled, touching their foreheads together gently. “I’m thinking I should reward you somehow…”

“I’d like that.”

 

PART 21

So Sidonis began the process of gently tracing Grizz’s pale colony tattoos with the tip of his tongue. Unlike Garrus’ markings, they covered most of the older turian’s face. Over his forehead and stretching the length of his upper crest, above and under his eyes to dip into three stripes on his mouth and chin. His mandibles were striped the same as his crest and Sidonis took a little extra time there, licking slowly and gently. He took enough time with it, that what was usually just an affectionate gesture became an intimate expression of deeper feelings.

Grizz cupped the back of his head, on that tender spot just under his fringe that sent another rush of blood to his dick. He pressed their faces together, mandibles catching as he lowered his head to lick at the beat of Grizz’s pulse. It raced under his tongue as he reached between them, taking hold of the cock straining against his stomach.

Sidonis pumped him in his palm, squeezing tightly and nibbling on the edge of his mandible as his other hand caressed over his waist. Grizz’s breath hitched once and turned into a purr as he nuzzled his chin against Sidonis’ crest. He thrust his hips up, grinding against the hand that gripped him. He pumped the older turian’s dick again, faster and harder this time, angling him so that their arousals touched briefly. Grizz’s breathing rasped again and he gave a shallow growl.

They were at the point where Grizz usually made him stop, flipping him over to take back control. Sometimes they faced each other, other times he took Sidonis on all fours. But it didn’t seem like that was about to happen.

Sidonis pulled away to look down at him, his grey eyes locked with soft reddish-brown. Grizz made a soft, almost plaintive sound and Sidonis felt his mandibles drop open in shock. He had _never_ done what Grizz was asking, actually, he’d never even given it much thought.

“Grizz,” He whispered. “I…don’t know what to do…I’ve never…been on top.”

Grizz nuzzled under his chin, tongue darting out to lick at his mouth. “I trust you.” He said and trilled out a soft noise. _Please? Just try it?_

He grabbed Grizz’s face in his hands and kissed him hard, tongue sliding into his mouth and tasting him completely. He let go of the older male’s dick to grab him by the hips and pulled him tightly to his own body. Sidonis ground them together, hard as he dared and nipped on the tongue in his mouth. Grizz growled into his open mouth, holding onto the back of his neck, one leg shifting until he had it draped over Sidonis’ hip.

“Really can’t wait much longer Lantar.” Grizz hissed, biting a path down his throat, murmuring lowly in subvocals. _Touch me, touch me and fuck me, my mate._

Sidonis sucked in a breath, his hips jerking forward suddenly. “Mate?” He asked, completely bewildered. He’d honestly thought Mierin was bullshitting him.

Grizz pushed his forehead tight against his, and his mating scent flared until it covered the both of them. _“Yes.”_ He said simply, and his harmonics enforced the word.

 

PART 22

Sidonis slipped a hand between them again, caressing him from chest to hip and wrapping carefully around the dick brushing against his abdomen. Their faces touched, mandibles catching again and Grizz breathed out as he breathed in. It was almost more intimate than the act itself, sharing each other’s breath and covered in each other’s scent. Sidonis pushed against the larger turian under him, their eyes locked together.

He felt a heat building in his chest that had nothing to do with sex and more to do with the simple way Grizz was looking at him. Those dark eyes passionate with lust and shining with something Sidonis had never had directed at him. Love; Grizz fucking loved him. And even though he felt the same it was too much to look at, he pushed his face into the other turian’s neck, nestled against the heated flesh.

Hand slick with their combined fluids, he pushed his fingers into Grizz. Slowly, carefully; the way Garrus had done for him all those months ago. He was almost unbearably warm inside and so tight it was mind-numbing. There was no way he would fit unless he worked him open a little more. Grizz caressed the side of his face, talons rubbing gently over his right mandible, his breathing paced and steady.

Sidonis worked him open, spreading and shifting, pulling and pushing until he was sure Grizz was ready. He lined himself up; pushing his dick in at the same time he pulled his fingers out. The older turian panted hard over his crest and fringe as he hilted inside him.

Grizz keened lowly. “You feel so good Lantar, spirits, so good.”

He tried to stay slow, he really did. He tried to give Grizz time to get used to him because he had the suspicion that this was a first for him too. But after a few shallow thrusts, he just couldn’t. He managed to keep his pace even, his strokes deliberate and deep. He found that bundle of nerves inside, that same spot, that in him had his eyes crossing and stars bursting in his vision. He hit it repeatedly, over and over, each thrust harder and faster. Grizz made encouraging sounds, coaxing his movements as his hands caressed over Sidonis’ fringe and down the back of his neck.

Sidonis grabbed his hips and pulled him up, changing the angle and allowing him even deeper. The older turian’s knees pressed against his waist, his spurs digging in just a little bit but not uncomfortably. Sidonis increased his pace again, pounding into Grizz now. Face still buried against his neck, his teeth biting and talons grasping widespread thighs.

Grizz yanked back on his fringe, pushed their mouths together and shoved his tongue past Sidonis’ teeth. He kept bucking his hips as his mate ( _spirits, his mate!_ ) tasted him thoroughly, purring openly and loudly. Sidonis’ reached between them again, took hold of Grizz’ cock and pumped him in time with his thrusts. He tore their mouths apart as he came, his entire body straining and bowing as his release emptied out of him one spurt at a time.

Teeth grazed his throat. Over tender and sensitive hide before piercing that special spot just where his jaw and throat met. Sidonis’ orgasm hit him like a concussive round, hard, fast and astounding in its intensity to leave him gasping. He ripped his throat away from Grizz’ teeth and shoved the older turian’s head back with a palm under his chin. He found that spot on his mate’s throat and returned the bite, sinking his teeth no more than an inch into the flesh, just barely deep enough to scar.

PART 23

His hips still thrust reflexively as he came down from the high of leaving his mark. Grizz’s bite stung a little but the other turian was licking over the wound and gently rumbling against the skin. Sidonis pulled away with a careful ease and fell onto his back, burrowing close to Grizz’s body heat. He was shivering just a little, his every nerve teeming in the wonderful chemicals of sex and the more forceful chemicals that signified having found his mate. They made love a half dozen more times, each time more passionate and wild than the last before he and Grizz finally collapsed to their sides, completely and utterly exhausted.

Grizz caressed him from fringe to hip and his steady purr eased Sidonis into a dreamless sleep.

 

+_-_-_-_-_+

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed when he woke to Grizz shaking his shoulder. He nuzzled blindly into the hand that touched him, thrumming happily in his chest. As much as he wanted to fuck again, he didn’t want to disappoint his mate, but he was too tired to even unplate.

Sidonis rumbled out in subvocals. _Love you…so tired._

Grizz laughed softly, humming out an _I love you too._ “I know it’s late, but I’ve got to head out.” He said with obvious displeasure. “There’s been some incident with Blood Pack and Aria needs a little muscle to smooth things over.”

He pressed his forehead firmly against Sidonis’, lingering for a long moment. “I’ll ping your omnitool when I’m free.”

He left without another word and Sidonis drifted back into a lighter sleep. His omnitool beeping frantically woke him sometime later and he couldn’t help thinking about how fast that was before he flicked his wrist to activate the tool and read the message. It wasn’t from Grizz.

**_Open your door. Now._**

PART 24

There was only one person that commanded him like that and didn’t leave a name with his messages. Sidonis quickly got out of the bed and jerked his pants on as he moved to the door almost tripping twice as his spurs got caught on the fabric. He keyed in the code, Garrus staggered into his apartment and Sidonis barely kept him from falling onto his face now that the door wasn’t holding his weight. He was badly beaten, struggling for breath and dripping blood from a myriad of small cuts and larger wounds.

“Fucking spirits Garrus! What the fuck happened to you?”

 “Garm,” Garrus wheezed and spat out a glob of blood. “Some vorcha too, spirits-damned freaks.”

Garrus steadied himself with his hands on Sidonis’ shoulders and leaned heavily back against the door, his breathing coming in short aching gasps. He wrapped both arms around his chest and hugged himself, putting pressure to wounds under his armor.

“Fuck. Get in here and sit down. I’ll…I’ll call Weaver and we’ll help the best we can.” Sidonis said, his heart suddenly racing.

Garrus sat down in the chair that was still by his bed. Sidonis felt a heat creep up his neck; his room still smelled like the combined result of his and Grizz’s lovemaking. Of course, Garrus had enough blood covering his face that maybe he couldn’t smell it.

“Thanks. I couldn’t make it to Weaver’s on my own. And, well, you’re the closest to my position.”

He sent a priority message to Weaver, telling her in no uncertain terms that he had an emergency. Then Sidonis grabbed a rag from his bathroom and wet it, bringing it back to his boss. Garrus just nodded and began the process of cleaning his face. He had to wet the rag twice more before the blue tattooed turian was done. By that time Weaver had already messaged him back letting him know she was on her way but it would still be longer than he liked.

“Do you hurt anywhere in particular?”

“Damn it, I don’t know. I gave myself a shit-ton of stims and applied what medigel I had.” Garrus said. “I feel pretty good actually, which is more than likely a bad sign.”

It could be. Sidonis had heard of soldiers taking such high doses of stims that they weren’t even aware they’d lost a limb. Numbing the pain out of existence didn’t necessarily mean you weren’t badly injured.

“Weaver’s on her way,” He said instead. “Do you need help getting your armor off?”

“Yes please.” He gestured to his side. “I think one of the latches is bent.”

Sidonis started with Garrus’ gauntlets, pulling them open carefully and then sliding off the gloves underneath. The shoulderguards came next and then the chestpiece after that. He eased it away from Garrus, being even more careful when his friend hissed in sudden pain.

“Oh, I think something’s broken in there.” He muttered. “Shit.”

“She’ll be here soon,” Sidonis said, trying to placate him as he watched blood ooze out from rips in his undersuit. “That being said, I’m not comfortable doing any more than I have.”

Garrus laughed mirthlessly, curling in on himself at a sudden flare of pain. “That’s fine.” He said. “Any chance I could get a glass of water?”

“Yeah, yeah…just let me find a clean glass first.”

 

PART 25

He managed to find a clean glass in the very back of his cabinet and filled it to the brim with water from the tap. His boss’s hands were shaking as he took the glass, a fine tremor that had water sloshing to spill on the floor. Sidonis steadied the cup for him, his hands cupping Garrus’ gently, offering just enough resistance to keep him from drinking too fast.

“Thank you.” He said when the water was gone.

“Do you want more?”              

Garrus shook his head, rubbing a hand absentmindedly over his stomach. “Probably shouldn’t, don’t want to be too sick when the stims and everything wear off.”

“Yeah,” Sidonis agreed, not all that sure what to say. “What were you…I thought you were out drinking…”

“I was.” He said, lifting one shoulder in a shrug. “But walking back I came across Garm and he was alone. I only had that little sidearm Ripper built but it was too good of an opportunity to pass up.”

Sidonis just stared at him for a minute, mandibles pressed tightly to jaw and his teeth grinding together. It was like the air had been knocked from him and suddenly he was sitting on the edge of his bed. “You only had a pistol? That was fucking stupid Garrus, you could have been killed. Fuck, it looks like you almost were.”

“Like I said, too good of an opportunity.” Garrus growled. “Though, I was already pretty worked up. Probably didn’t enter into that encounter with the clearest of heads. I’ve never seen a krogan regenerate that fast before, not matter how many bullets I put in him, he just kept coming. I don’t know how long we fought before the vorcha showed up and I had to run. I’ll be honest with you Sidonis, I was lucky to get away, that son of a varren chased me over half of Omega. I had to backtrack a dozen times until I finally lost him. It was stupid to go after him in the first place. What is it that humans say? Hindsight is twenty-twenty? Hmm, that sounds right, Weaver would know.”

“She’ll be here soon.” He said again. “Feeling any differently?”

The other turian shook his head. “My visor says my heart rate is still elevated but I feel alright. Another hour or so before all my drugs are metabolized. Sure I’ll feel just wonderful then.”

Sidonis almost repeated his last sentence but bit his tongue.

“You smell good, by the way.”

“Huh?”

Garrus reached up and scratched pointedly at his neck. “You and Grizz, uh, mated. I mean,” He sighed explosively. “You’re covered in a bonding scent; it’s sweet smelling and obviously Grizz’s. So…that’s a big thing and, um, congratulations Lantar. And I’m sorry for…everything that happened between us. I’m hoping we can still be friends and teammates without that kind of tension.”

His mandibles spread widely with his smile. “That means a lot to me Garrus, thank you.”

“Yeah, but if he does anything to hurt you I’ll put a bullet between his eyes.”

Sidonis wasn’t entirely sure Garrus was joking but he laughed anyway. “So, can I ask you something?”

“Yeah, anything.”

“You’ve never told any of us…” There were a lot of things about Garrus none of them knew and Sidonis took a moment to pick from the list. “Why are you even on Omega?”

Garrus glanced down at his boots, hand running over his fringe in that nervous habit of his. “Oh.” He stared at his boots for a long moment. “Suffice to say...there was...something important to me. I didn't know how important until it was gone and then there was no getting it back. I'd rather not talk about it.”

 

“Okay then, I can respect that.”

 

+_-_-_-_-_+

PART 26

Weaver knocked on his door ten or so minutes after that and Sidonis let her in without a word. She immediately went to work on Garrus, doing things like taking his pulse and checking the rotation of his mandibles to make sure they weren’t dislocated or broken. When that checked out, she enlisted his help in opening Garrus’ undersuit and pushing it down his shoulders to pool around his waist. His chest was covered in long gashes and shallow bites that had somehow made it through his armor. She pressed around until she found a pair of cracked plates, but she didn’t find anything much worse than that.

“Somebody want to tell me what the fucking hell happened here?” She demanded as Sidonis passed her supplies from the pack at her feet.

“I asked the same thing.” Sidonis muttered dejectedly.

“Blood Pack,” Garrus told her simply.

Weaver rolled her eyes and sprayed on some antibiotic and smeared medigel over his chest before securing a bandage. “Like the vorcha bites weren’t a fucking giveaway.”

Garrus let out a heavy sigh, his subvocals sounding his annoyance. “I cornered Garm all by himself. Managed to put some bullets in him but he’s a freak of nature, he regens faster than any krogan I’ve ever seen. I got away before he could crush my skull but there were suddenly vorcha everywhere. I know I lost them but not before they took a few chunks out of me.”

Weaver handed him the leftover medical stuff, which Sidonis put away haphazardly in the pack. “Did they get a look at your face?”

He shook his head. “No I had my helmet on, like always. I’ll need a new one, had to ditch the thing a few doors down, dropped it down a garbage chute.” He growled once. “My damn armor’s trashed too, so is my underweave.”

The human woman threw her arms around his neck with a hardly audible sob. “You could’ve been killed. And you’re worried about your goddamn armor, I’ll never understand you turians.”

Sidonis laid his hand on her arm as Garrus put his arms tentatively around her shoulders. “It’s okay Weaver.” He tried to reassure her.

“No, Lantar, it’s really not.” He realized with a start that she was actually crying. “He could’ve been killed and none of us would have known. What happens to us when you get killed for being a stupid fuck? Huh, Garrus?”

Their leader looked positively cowed, eyes lowered and mandibles pulled in tight to his chin. Weaver finally released him from her hug and wiped at her eyes with the back of her wrist.

“Fuck,” She said. “I don’t care what species you are, all you men are dumb as shit. Still love you two though.” With that, she pressed her lips to the top of Garrus’ crest and then turned, standing on her toes and pressed a kiss to Sidonis’ mandible too.

Garrus gave him a mortified look and rubbed at his forehead, trilling with embarrassment at their friend’s action. Sidonis squeezed his shoulder once as Weaver came back from washing her hands in the sink.

“You, Garrus, are staying with me until I’m sure those bites aren’t infected.” She ordered. “Unless Sidonis wants you to stay here…”

Sidonis shrugged. “Not sure how Grizz would feel about that.” He told them honestly. Then, in subvocals, and purely for his boss’ benefit: _Plus I’ve got plans for when he gets back._

Garrus flicked his mandibles in understanding and then turned to Weaver. “Ready when you are I guess.” He looked down at himself. “Though I can’t exactly wander around without a shirt and covered in dried blood.”

“Shut up,” Weaver teased. “Look at you two, goddamn half naked, you turians are fucking gorgeous.”

Sidonis found himself laughing uproariously.

“Besides,” She continued. “We’re on Omega, no one will notice, trust me on that.”

 

PART 27

+_-_-_-_-_+

 

It was hours before Grizz came back, exhausted and in a sour mood, grumbling to himself about krogan mercenaries and filthy vorcha. Sidonis was sitting at his table cleaning his gun absentmindedly when his omnitool beeped. Grizz had shed his armor and come up behind him, one hand stroking over his fringe as he rested his face against the back of Sidonis’ neck. He had to scroll past older messages to get to the latest one.

_ **Hey, you busy? –W_**

**_Not at the moment but Grizz just got back.-S_**

**_Alrighty then. Anyway, thought you’d want to know he’s okay. Sleeping like the dead but okay. –W_**

**_That’s good. Let me know if anything changes or there’s something I can do. –S_**

Grizz leaned over him and nibbled along the edge of his right mandible, letting his hands slide across his shoulders and down the front of his chest. He purred softly into Sidonis’ ear and heat spread through him like a flashflood.

**_I will. Have fun with your sugar daddy. –W_**

**_...What the fuck? –S_**

**_Lol I love how you have no idea. Talk later Lantar. –W_**

He flicked his wrist to close the omnitool and then reached back to touch his mate’s face. Grizz nipped at his fingertips and then slid his tongue along his bare palm, exhaling softly.

“Who were you talking to?” He murmured, inching his teeth along Sidonis’ wrist now.

“Just a colleague,” He said. “Well more of a friend actually.”

“I’d like to meet this friend of yours.”

Sidonis nudged Grizz back so that he could stand from his chair. “That’s…not possible. Our boss prefers us to keep things on the professional side, he doesn’t mind if we’re friendly but he likes us focused on our tasks.”

His mate nodded and reached out to lay his hands on his waist. “Understandable.” He shrugged and pulled Sidonis closer. “You’ve never talked about your work, guy like you, I wonder just what you’re doing on Omega.”

He barely stopped the surprise from showing in the tilt of his mandibles, ducking forward to rub his face along Grizz’s. “I’m just a freelancer,” He chuckled to bury the lie in his subtones. “I do a little bit of everything.”

“Mmmm,” Grizz rumbled and pushed their foreheads together.

“What’s up love?”

“I’m carrying some heavy frustration.” He hooked his thumbs in the waistband of Sidonis’ pants and tugged once. “Take these off.”

He purred, putting his hands over Grizz’s and pushing down on them “How ‘bout you take them off for me.”

The older turian purred back at him, pulling his sleepwear slowly over the ridge of his hips and then down his thighs to ease them over his spurs. Sidonis lifted his feet one by one so Grizz could remove his clothes fully to leave him naked in the arid warmth of his room. He wiggled his tongue along Sidonis’ stomach as he got back to his feet, again grabbing him by the waist and pulling their bodies together in a line. Mouths connected and tongues dueling, he felt Grizz reach past him and move the chair out of the way.

He rumbled with contentment again. “Put your gun away. Then turn around and lean over the table.”

 

PART 28

Sidonis did just that, not bothering to reassemble the gun as he wrapped it in the protective cloth he usually cleaned it on and placing the bundle in his abandoned chair. Then he placed his palms flat on the cool surface of the table.

“I have to undress so don’t move.” One large hand squeezed his hip briefly.

“You’re commanding me to do things now?” He asked flippantly.

“Mmmm, it’s nice to be the one giving the orders for a change.” He heard the whisper of fabric. “Don’t turn your head Lantar, just be still.”

“Seems like I’m always taking orders.” Sidonis muttered but his subvocals were playful.

Grizz stepped up behind him, wide hips cradling his backside and firmly muscled thighs pressed against his own. “Only because you do it so well. Lean forward and stick your hips out some more. Yes, love, just like that.”

He leaned his chest fully on the table, stretching his arms out before him and let his body relax as much as he could. Grizz was more or less petting him, those large hands of his caressing him from fringe to hip and everywhere in between. He lingered in key areas like his throat and sides, moving gently down his stomach to the juncture of his legs where thigh met groin. Sidonis felt his plates loosen and then part on contact as Grizz ran his fingers along the seam.

“I love how you open for me Lantar.” His mate whispered softly, his subharmonics thrumming with affection. His fingertips found Sidonis’ arousal easily and coaxed him to full hardness.

Sidonis propped himself up on his hands and leaned back against him, turning his head just enough to see those bronze markings and the glimmer of burnt umber irises.

“No, don’t move. Just relax for me, I liked you the way you were.”

He laid flat again, keeping his head turned just enough to still see Grizz. The older turian rubbed against him, his plates sliding apart until Sidonis could feel his erection against his lower back. He was already purring, though quietly as he pushed forward just slightly, shifting until he was almost pressing inside.

Sidonis tensed instinctively and Grizz leaned over him, chest flush to his back, mouth ghosting over the side of his neck. He gave another light nibble to his mandible and Sidonis tipped his head back obediently. Grizz reached up and gripped one of his hands, their fingers linking comfortably and then their mouths were joining again. The older turian licked around in his mouth, sliding his tongue over teeth and dancing along Sidonis’ own tongue.

He grabbed the back of Grizz’s head with his free hand, ran his talons along his fringe until he reached the back of his neck. His mate breathed deeply into his mouth as his body rocked forward. Then he was in Sidonis with a gloriously slow glide of his hips, his ridged cock filling him completely.

He whimpered against Grizz’s mouth. “Spirits,”

Grizz chuckled and licked the side of his face and squeezed the hand trapped in his own. He stayed pressed to his back, kept their mouths together as he started to move. The pace was slow, languorous and he wasn’t thrusting so much and gently rolling his hips back and forth, slipping in and out. It went on like that until Sidonis was delirious with pleasure and moaning with each half thrust. Grizz continued to breathe evenly into his mouth, his purr holding the same cadence of the heartbeat Sidonis could feel reverberating through his spine and into his own chest.

 

PART 29

“Does that feel good, love?” Grizz asked, grasping him by the hips.

He couldn’t answer in words but his subvocals left no doubt of his enjoyment.

“Do you want me to keep going or,” He thrust forward sharply and Sidonis’ groaned loudly. “Do you want me to speed up some?”

He dug his hands into the table, his talons scoring the wood. His back arched almost against his will and Grizz slid impossibly deep. “Grizz,” He whined lowly and it was all he could manage.

“What was that? I couldn’t quite make it out,” His subtones were teasing and he was so totally still the Sidonis could actually feel his pulse through the cock buried inside him.

“I want you to fuck me.”

Grizz answered by standing and grabbing him by both hips. Sidonis scrambled to grab the edges of the table as he was jerked back across its surface. His mate slid deep and hit all the right spots, snarling under his breath as he hilted inside. He didn’t pause in his motions, pulling back until just the tip of him was in and slamming forward all the way a second later. Over and over Grizz hammered into him with a rhythm he couldn’t match. The older turian reached a compromise for that though, the hands on his hips moving Sidonis in time with his thrusts. Pulling him back as Grizz stroked into him and pushing him forward against the table on the outstroke.

Sidonis came without Grizz ever touching his dick, though his hands slid close a couple of times. He collapsed on the table with his mate landing heavily on his back and they caught their breath together. Grizz’s hands caressed up his body and cupped his mandibles, turning his head to lick over his mouth.

“I love you,” He said through his purr and touched their foreheads together gently.

Sidonis nuzzled him, rubbing their faces together from forehead to mandible and down to his throat where he bit softly over the scar he’d left earlier in the night. He didn’t need to say it, Grizz would know.

“So…another round?” Grizz asked.

“Oh fuck yes.” And he twisted his torso, springing up from the table and shoving Grizz back toward their bed. The older turian was smiling as he hit the mattress.

+_-_-_-_-_+

 

PART 30

+_-_-_-_-_+

Tangling with Garm, and surviving, had made Garrus brave. Maybe insane was the better word, because now he wanted to hit the mercs where they lived. They, Archangel that is, had already killed Eclipse’s second in command, a salarian that turned out later to be Jaroth’s brother. While Garrus was confident that both the Blood Pack and Eclipse were busy licking their wounds, he wanted to strike at the heart of the Blue Suns. He wanted to attack Tarak at home.

“You’re insane!” Vortash declared, leaning on his fists on the table.

They were all gathered around it while Garrus laid out his reasons and the plan. It had been a little over a week and a half since his brush with Garm and he’d healed nicely in the meantime. As far as Sidonis knew, he didn’t even have any scars from all the vorcha bites.

Garrus ignored the other turian. “I’ll take a team of six including myself. We’ll get inside and do all the damage we can. So… Monteague you’ll knock out communications and cameras. Just don’t crash ours again too.”

“I said I was sorry for that.” The human muttered against scattered chuckles.

 Garrus continued with barely a pause though he did spread his mandibles in a slight grin. “Sidonis I want you to keep him covered, don’t let anyone sneak up on him while he’s doing his thing. Krul, I need you with me. Ripper and Mierin, I want you two covering our exit. Do what you have to do to get ready but we leave in six hours.”

+_-_-_-_-_+

PART 31

+_-_-_-_-_+

Monteague’s hand flew over the haptic interface so fast that Sidonis only registered a blur of movement. Lights flickered, went out and then came back on again.

“Cameras and emergency comms are down.” He reported. “It’s just us on the system now Boss, I knocked the son of a bitch of the grid.”

 _“Copy that,”_ Garrus’ voice floated through their helmets. _“Have you got eyes on us?”_

“Uhuh, viewing all the way around. Your path is clear; keep heading north down the hall and then swing a left.”

_“Any sign of Tarak?”_

Sidonis scanned the screens in front of him, seeing only empty rooms and small groupings of mercs doing random things. Standing guard, playing cards and sleeping on bunks.

“Negative.” He said. “Looks like minimum resistance from the Suns.”

“Must be a slow night. I’ve got nothing on the screens,” Monteague added. “He could be in a blacked-out area. I’ll keep looking.”

Garrus hissed something nasty that the mic didn’t catch. _“Keep me informed. Going quiet from here on out.”_

Sidonis cradled his assault rifle against his chest, one talon resting lightly on the trigger and kept his eyes on the door. Monteague was doing his magic, his hands still a blur as he kept the systems from coming back online. Fifteen minutes passed before the human let out a string of curses that made his mandibles twitch.

“What is it?” He asked, glancing over for a second to see the human typing like a madman.

“It’s all coming back online and I can’t stop it. Cameras, comms, alarms, all of it. I can’t shut it down!”

“Do something human!” He growled and up in the corner of the room, a small security camera turned to face him. Sidonis shot the thing without a thought.

“I can’t! Fuck! Boss! Boss!”

 _“I’m in the middle of something Gadget.”_ Garrus snarled out the call sign. _“Whatever it is-“_

“Operation compromised!” The human snapped. “All enemy systems running hot, it’s some emergency backup protocol. I can’t stop it. You and Mayhem need to bail out now.”

_“I’ve got Tarak cornered!”_

Sidonis looked at the screens again. The Blue Suns were moving, waking up, throwing down their cards and leaving their posts to don armor and snag weapons.

“Fucker!” He growled and Monteague fairly flinched. “Reinforcements on the way. Fall back now or you’re fucked!”

Silence on the comms but for the bursts of gunfire. _“Fine, spirits damn it. Full retreat. Knight, you keep Gadget under cover. Napalm and Brick I need you on my exit. Get us out of here.”_

_“Affirmative.”_

_“Roger.”_

 

PART 32

+_-_-_-_-_+

They barely made it out without incident. Grundan Krul had caught a bullet shoving Garrus out of the line of fire, but the way krogans healed, the wound was gone in minutes. Amazingly no one else had been hurt and on their retreat Mierin had blown the way out into small pieces with a well-placed charge. The Blue Suns were going to be stuck in their base for a while just trying to dig their way out.

Garrus was beyond pissed off though. He’d had the Blue Suns leader in his crosshairs and then the batarian had simply vanished behind a door and the shot was lost. Then they’d had to pull out or risk being overrun. So, no, Garrus was not happy. He’d coaxed Vortash into sparring with him to calm his nerves and the two turians had headed toward the basement without any further words.

Meanwhile, Sidonis made sure that Monteague knew he hadn’t fucked up, once he was sure the human knew the mission failure hadn’t been entirely his fault. And that it wasn’t like you could plan for those sorts of things every time, he found a little bit of privacy and messaged Grizz.

**_ Hey. Have you got a minute? –S_**

Several minutes passed before he got an answer.

**_ I really don’t. Meet me at Afterlife in a few hours? –G_**

There were two rules of Archangel that one never broke no matter what. No civilian casualties and stay the fuck out of Afterlife. Sidonis had already risked his and the group’s safety the few times he’d been there in the past.

**_ Afterlife’s not really my kind of place. What if I meet you just outside and we head home together? –S_**

Another handful of minutes had his stomach twisting into nervous knots.

**_ Sure, that sounds great. See you in a bit love. –G_**

Sidonis sighed and passed a hand over his crest, wondering why his stomach felt so strange all of a sudden. It was just Afterlife, no reason to get bent out of shape about it.

“Hey Sidonis!” Ripper called, he’d spent the time since they’d returned hooking up his gaming equipment. “Do you want to play a couple of rounds?”

+_-_-_-_-_+

PART 33

+_-_-_-_-_+

Sidonis woke slowly, a lot slower than his usual. His limbs were heavy and his mind was full of a fuzzy fog, it felt a little like a hangover but he hadn’t been drinking last night. Actually, the more he thought about it, he couldn’t really remember what he’d done the night before. Thinking brought pain behind his eyes and every memory was blanketed in that fuzzy fog. He remembered meeting Grizz outside Afterlife and being shoved into an alley as his mate kissed him senseless.

And then nothing, nothing but pain and blackness.

So he’d been knocked out and taken somewhere else, which was the logical conclusion. Had it been one of the merc gangs? Archangel had hit the Blue Suns the hardest, mostly because there were so many of the fuckers. After that shit with Garm, the Blood Pack would have just killed him on sight; krogan and vorcha weren’t much into the kidnapping thing. Eclipse maybe? It was possible, although they hadn’t hit them in a while, not since that last shipment of red sand hand “vanished” and Jaroth’s brother had been killed.

But where was Grizz? Sidonis’ subvocals keened in anguish and anxiety. If his mate had been hurt or killed he’d-

His damn hands were tied behind his back! He struggled angrily for a minute, wrenching at pulling on his arms but he wasn’t just tied, he was chained. Fucker. He needed to calm down; there was no chance for escape if he dislocated his shoulder wiggling around. He need to stop and just breathe, take stock of his situation and get as much information as he could and make a plan.

_Grizz could already be-No! He can take care of himself, he’s not Aria’s top soldier for nothing. Focus you stupid fuck! Where are you? What do you see, what do you hear and smell? Look around you and pay-the-fuck-attention!_

A deep breath, another and another and his head was a little clearer. His heart still pounded viciously, so loud and fast he could feel it in his brain and down his spinal column. 

_A metal room, no windows and one door. Also metal, reinforced with some serious tech. I’m chained, dizzy and it hurts to think. I think I was drugged. This is Blue Suns, got to be, and it matches their M.O. all the way. I’m too old to be traded as a slave. Has to be…they have to know I’m with Archangel. But how? We’re all so careful, we cover all our bases, never leave a clue to who we are. Our armor is generic and without symbols or identifiers. Safe, nondescript. We don’t use names, ever, call signs only. How did they find me?_

Sidonis was only getting more worked up the more he thought about it. And that headache that had started when he woke up was full-blown now. Thumping behind his eyes and at the base of his skull, rolling around his brain like a spiked ball.

 _Grizz,_ He thought again, clamping down hard on the subtones that warbled misery.

 

PART 34

The door snapped open with a hiss and Sidonis lifted his head, growling ominously. But the threatening sound died in his throat when he saw who entered.

“Grizz?” His mandibles spread in a grin, heart pounding for a different reason. “Are you okay, are you hurt?”

Even as he asked, Sidonis could see that his mate was perfectly fine. There weren’t any new scratches or dents on his armor, there weren’t any obvious injuries and no blood. That…wasn’t right.

“Grizz?” He said again. “Talk to me. What’s going on?”

Grizz was silent, crossing the room in a single stride to kneel between his feet. He reached up and cupped his mandibles gently in his palms, bringing their foreheads together. He stayed that way for a few minutes, breathing heavy and keening so low in his chest that Sidonis almost didn’t hear him. The sound turned his blood cold. And then Grizz was jerking to his feet and moving across the room to lean against the wall with his arms crossed protectively over his middle and his head lowered.

“I’m…not even sure what to say.” He began. “I’m certainly surprised.”

“ _You’re_ surprised?” Sidonis said, straining forward as far as the chains would let him. “I’m chained to a chair and you’re the one that’s surprised? If this is a kink of yours, I love you Grizz, but this is so not my kind of thing.”

His mate was resisting the smile but Sidonis saw the barest hint of it in the angle of his mandibles even though his head was turned to the side. Grizz reached up slowly and caressed his bonding scar almost hesitantly.

That strange feeling he’d had in his stomach hours ago was back and magnified a hundredfold. “Grizz, I’m starting to freak out a little,” He said and his undertones backed up the statement, wobbling with the beginnings of panic. “What’s going on? Where are we?”

Grizz stepped away from the wall and crouched at his feet again but he stayed out of reach. His omnitool opened and he showed Sidonis a holo-picture of a turian in unremarkable armor. It took a second for Sidonis to realize that the helmeted turian was him.

“Know anything about this?” Grizz asked lowly.

 _I know that fucking camera snapped a pick of me before I shot it._ He swallowed down the sickly taste of dread. “It’s a turian in armor.”

“Don’t patronize me Lantar.” Grizz hissed, bursting back to his feet, the picture vanishing.  “I can hear the fucking lie in your voice. You think I haven’t taken you out of your armor enough times to know exactly what it looks like!”

“Grizz-“

“No, no. Shut up and let me…let me think.” He paced in front of Sidonis chair, his temper making movements shaky and uncoordinated. “Spirits Lantar. You’re with Archangel. Don’t lie to me again because I already know you are.”

 

PART 35

For a moment Sidonis just breathed, unable to completely process what he was hearing. “How did you know?”

The larger turian rubbed over his fringe and crest with shaking hands. “When I left your place the night we mated, there was a turian lurking nearby. Blue armor and beaten to shit, covered in krogan and vorcha blood. Not long after I found out Garm had been attacked by Archangel, who was apparently a turian in blue armor. The only thing anyone even knows about him, none of the Blood Pack got a look at his face.”

“That turian could have been there for anyone.” Sidonis told him but it both sounded and felt hollow.

 Grizz just shook his head. “It wasn’t the only thing.” He murmured and his subvocals were screaming with dismay. “I saw your messages with some unnamed person telling you to open your door. It coincided with the time I saw that turian. Your other messages with your colleague, the lie in you tone when you told me you were just a freelancer. It didn’t take too much work to put the pieces together.”

“Grizz-“

“Just…please don’t talk Lantar.” His mate murmured, he was still pacing but he’d slowed to a sluggish stride. “Please don’t talk; this is hard enough without you lying to me too. I thought we had…just never mind. I can’t believe you’re with Archangel Lantar, I really don’t know what to think here.”

“How…how did I get here?”

Grizz turned sharply on his heel, coming to stand in front of him. “Some of Aria’s people, the ones that are loyal only to her. They’d seen us together, drew the same conclusions I did after they saw that holo of you in armor. There was nothing I could…Aria ordered me to…I’m sorry Lantar. Duty had to come first, it always does.”

An hour seemed to pass and it was utter silence in the metal room. Grizz had stopped pacing and he glared at Sidonis with wet looking eyes, their pale brown-red color so dark and deep that he could easily get lost in them. They reflected anger along with sadness and Sidonis had never felt more exposed and vulnerable.

“Why?” Sidonis asked finally, his voice rough and strained.

“Because Aria’s had enough and you don’t fuck with Aria.” Grizz told him bluntly, hand rubbing over his crest again. “Archangel’s caused more disruption than she’s comfortable with. Do you think she likes Omega turning in to an absolute warzone? All the merc leaders are here Lantar, they’re all here and they’re gunning for your boss. And they aren’t going to stop there, they’re likely going to target Aria next and then everything will be thrown into chaos. There won’t be any more safe havens on Omega. They will tear this station apart one innocent bystander and idiotic do-gooder at a time. I know you don’t want that, I know your Archangel doesn’t want that. Give them what they want.”

Sidonis shook his head. “I won’t do that, I can’t.”

“Why won’t you?”

“Because…because I…I just can’t and I won’t.”

 

PART 36

“Do you love him? Is that why?” Grizz demanded, his voice rising with his anger and his subtones edgy, high-pitched with indignation.

He almost couldn’t meet Grizz’s russet eyes but he finally he did. “I thought I did once but I don’t anymore.”

His mate growled something harsh and he started to pace back and forth again. He was graceless in his anger, his boots striking down on the floor like great claps of thunder.

“And me?” He asked suddenly and the tone was just shy of frantic. “I thought you loved me, I thought you trusted me but you’ve kept this from me. There’s nothing I can do to save you from what’s going to happen here.”

Sidonis lurched forward in his chair, pulling with all his strength at the chains. He just wanted to get closer, he wanted to take Grizz in his arms and never let him go. “I do love you, more than anything. You helped me forget how much I hated myself and the things I’ve done. You make me happier than I’ve ever been. I love you so much Grizz.”

Grizz grabbed him suddenly by the chin. “Then tell them everything! Everything Lantar, every little detail you can think of. You tell them all of it and maybe they’ll let you walk out of here.”

Sidonis shook his head, eyes wet and his breath hitching. “No, I’m sorry. But no.”

Grizz searched his eyes silently for a long moment and then the talons of his opposite hand gripped his neck. He sliced one quickly and cleanly through the bite scar he’d left there less than a month ago. Then he reached up and repeated the act on his own scar. And just like that, the bond, the oath they’d made to each other was severed. Sidonis felt his heart tear and rip in his chest. Grizz had made it so they, both of them, would never find another mate. Not with severed bonding marks staining them more untrustworthy than a barefaced turian.

The sound that left his throat, some twisted noise of melancholy and hopelessness made Grizz wince and look away.

“If you make it out of here,” He whispered darkly, subtones vibrating with rage and regret and sorrow. “I never want to see you again. If I do I’ll…I’ll kill you myself.”

He wiped Sidonis’ blood on his own shirt and turned away. Grizz didn’t look back as he opened the door and left, his head hanging low. He struggled in the chair, pulling wildly at the chains, uncaring of hurting himself.

 “Wait! Grizz please! Don’t do this! Grizz! Grizz please, please don’t do this.”

Sidonis threw his weight until the chair tipped and sent him crashing to the floor. Unable to stop his fall with his hands, his face slammed onto the hard ground. He heard the crack of his mandible fracturing, tasted the blood in his mouth but he didn’t feel it.

“Grizz!”                                                  

 

PART 37

 

+_-_-_-_-_+

Sidonis didn’t know how long it took the Blue Suns to break him. Before the first day was even over, the passage of time had stopped registering. He was only aware of the pain. Physically, he was in agony. He’d been threatened and beaten and tortured but like time, none of what was done to him seemed to matter. He couldn’t focus on any of it. It was like his mind was disconnected from it all, the broken bones and the gaping wounds.

He was probably in shock.

Emotionally, he was in a haze of torment. He thought of Grizz. He clung to every memory of them together, of the serenity and ecstasy the older turian had brought him and the peace he’d felt with every touch. He thought about Garrus too, and everything his friend had taught him. The hope he’d been given. He thought about every time Garrus had saved his life and pulled him to cover amidst gunfire and explosions.

He couldn’t understand why he’d picked loyalty over the one thing he’d always wanted. Why he’d protected Garrus instead of following his heart and staying with Grizz. He felt dead, empty and frozen and hollow.

Eventually he broke. He gave their names and their species. He gave their location, exposed their defenses and effectively handed the mercs the keys to Archangel’s kingdom. He did not give them Garrus.

They beat him again. Sidonis held out until every breath scraped through his lungs like shards of glass and dull, rusted blades. He kept that secret even when blood poured from his mouth, clogged his nose and blinded him. He’d already lost Grizz, and after everything he would not give up Garrus.

He told them the same thing every time they asked, no matter how they asked.

_“Who’s Archangel?”_

He’d spit out the blood and say; _“We all are. It’s just a name.”_

+_-_-_-_-_+

 

PART 38

+_-_-_-_-_+

And then, for some unknown and inexplicable reason, they let him go. He didn’t know how he made it back to his apartment, only that he somehow managed it before he collapsed. Again time ceased to exist for Sidonis as he slept and when he finally came to, he stripped down and showered. He covered his wounds in medigel even though he was still numb to the pain.

Sidonis didn’t know how much time he had before the mercs attacked Archangel’s base. It could have already happened, they could all already be dead for all he knew but he had to try to warn Garrus somehow. He had to warn Weaver, had to somehow get them both away from the base. He didn’t think he could outright tell them that they were going to be ambushed at any moment. He knew Garrus wouldn’t leave the base for no reason, not unless Sidonis needed his help. Getting Weaver to leave would be easy, he only needed to ask. He wanted to warn the others but he couldn’t think of anything.

Finally he figured out what he would say and activated him comm to talk to Garrus. Thankfully he answered almost immediately.

“Garrus, I need you to drop whatever you’re doing and come meet me.”

“Sidonis?” He asked. “Are you all right? You sound-“

The concern in his subvocals made Sidonis nauseous and he continued speaking before he could puke. “I’m fine. Just ran into a little trouble a job out here and could use a hand. Garm and his Blood Pack thought they could pull a fast one on us. They’re running guns down here in the Kenzo district. Big operation.”

“How big?” Garrus asked, a growl of irritation in his undertones.

He took a deep breath. “More than I could chew, but nothing the two of us can’t handle together. Like old times.”

“It’ll take me a while to get down there. Hang tight.”

The urge to vomit slammed him again but Sidonis forced it down. “Yeah, please just hurry. It’s…it’s getting out of hand.”

“On my way now.” Then his voice cut out, the comm severing the connection.

Sidonis buried his face in his hands, for a moment just struggling to breathe as he finally began to feel the aches and pains of his body. When he had himself back under control he tried to call Weaver but she didn’t answer. He tried again and again, his heart sinking because it couldn’t break any more than it already had.

After the third or fourth unanswered called he just left here a message. “Weaver, I need you to come to my apartment as soon as you get this. I don’t give a fuck what you’re doing, forget about it and get here.”

He’d never spoken to the human like that before and the only reason he did now was because he knew it would piss her off. She’d be hell-bent on getting to him to kick his ass for the disrespect. He decided he could live with that if it meant his friend living through the attack.

 

PART 39

That was when everything hit him like a charging krogan. Grizz had left him and physically marked him worthless. He’d turned on his team and the two best friends he’d ever had. He’d sold them out and for what? Sweet spirits, he didn’t know. Was this some punishment for those years he’d been a merc? Retribution for the child he’d killed? A sick cosmic joke by vengeful spirits for all the things he’d done? Why would the spirits dangle happiness and love and friendship in front of his face and then destroy it in one fell swoop? Why give him everything he’d ever desired just to rip it away?

That painful sick-to-the-stomach feeling came back in full and Sidonis barely made it to the bathroom before he lost it. Vomiting the contents of his stomach down to the very lining before the blood followed and then he was just dry-heaving. Like he was trying to expel the very guilt from his soul, the shame of what he’d done and the agony of his broken heart. He stayed bent over the toilet, spitting and heaving until there was absolutely nothing left in him but raw emptiness.

“What have I done?” He asked himself, but he already knew. It wasn’t the first time he’d fucked up but it was the first time he’d fucked up this badly. “I should have let them kill me.”

Sidonis cried the way that turians cried. A warbling, wailing of his subvocals that sounded damn near like a wounded animal begging for death. He didn’t cry for himself but for all that he’d lost; Garrus and Weaver. His mate.

 _Grizz, oh Grizz I’m so, so sorry._ He knew he’d never heal from this.

 

+_-_-_-_-_+

He left Omega in the middle of the night-cycle. All his worldly possessions in the small duffle over his shoulder and every credit he had to his name in his pocket. The only thing of importance he’d left behind he been his omnitool, so that if the mercs ever decided to come after him, they couldn’t track him that way. He’d need to change his identity and maybe his colony tattoos as well but he’d leave the severed scar on his throat untouched. As a reminder that he couldn’t have the things he wanted.

Lantar Sidonis left Omega resisting the impulse to look over his shoulder with the hope that he’d see Grizz or Garrus or Weaver somewhere in the crowd. At the same time he half expected and half wanted to see an agent of the merc gangs with a gun trained on him. In the end, he didn’t look back and he prayed for a bullet to end the misery.

END

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm currently laying the ground work for a sequel. Is there anything you readers would like to see? I will tell you my tentative plans_________Garrus didn't kill him and Sidonis turned himself in but C-sec has no power out in the terminus so there's no punishment for him. He lost his mate and his two best friends. He fucked up worse than he ever has before and he's back to hating himself. He's really depressed and maybe even a little suicidal. Now, not in the sense that he would hurt himself, (because I love him and I just could not bring myself to write that) but he might take his safety for granted and willingly put himself in bad situations.  
> Then Omega gets overthrown and there's Grizz, back in his life.   
> Keep in mind, I've written nothing yet. I'm just tossing stuff around to see if anything strikes my fancy. IDK, I've kind of already got it in my head that they get back together, because despite everything, the love is still there.  
> So again, anything you all would like to see? I'll happily take requests and work in what I can.


End file.
